About nothing

About nothing

                At some point, I lost it. I don’t know exactly when it happened, but I’m sure it did. Once there was willpower, then it all became just emptiness. Some sort of sadness mixed up with a strange agony. And, finally, it all ended up in self-abuse. Good old self-abuse. As if it is the only way of pulling myself through all this shit. It’s the only way not to looking at the big great future that awaits for us and going mad at it. The only way of forgetting. Forgetting that it’s all so pointless, so meaningless that every and single thing you do right-now-right-here will lead you nowhere. Because we are all having the same sad end. It will get to you. The boredom. The routine. You’ll be caught in the hurricane of Everyday Life and once you are stucked in there, you are damned. There is no way out.

                Actually, there is just one way out. But I’d rather keep on abusing myself until somebody or something does what I’m not brave enough to do. So, you have to carry on. You have to face all the people you are forced to and smile and be there for each one of their needs. People are demanding fucks. People are needy. They have this tendency of sticking onto your shoulders and thrive for attention, for you to listen to their Everyday Life problems. Can’t they realize how pointless it is? Can’t they see how these problems are, actually, no problem at all because they make no sense? They are dust. We are dust.

                So why? Tell me why. Why keep on fighting for nothing. This whole thing of existing is just one big charade. As it is being sober. Life is like this long road of thorns pinching our feet. We are doomed to suffer, we are doomed to feel empty and incomplete and this makes our existence just some sort of ridiculous attempt to minimize the suffering and the pain for not knowing exactly what we need to achieve those rare moments of this little mysterious thing called happiness and make them last. And the worst of it all is that we hope. We dream that one day happiness will be our normal state of feeling but little do we know we are doomed to die with an empty heart.

                Empty.

                Like everything else.

                Including this beer can.